To My Kids: Please Stop Growing

Happy end of September, friends! Can you believe another quarter of the year is over? Honestly with the pandemic, this has been one of the fastest years yet. Once September hits here, it’s basically the start of our busiest time of the year. Between the many birthdays in our famly plus getting ready for the holiday season, this last quarter is usually a whirlwind. Put the pandemic on top of it, and I feel like I’m going to be hit by a tornado around here.

What’s ironic about this pandemic is that while it gave me more time to spend with my children, I do feel like time went by so fast that they’re constantly changing into a newer version of themselves everyday. As I’m writing this it’s been 2 weeks since my younger daughter turned 3, and it’s 2 weeks until my older daughter turns 5.

3 and 5?!?!? WHERE HAS THE TIME GONE?

What’s amazing with technology (wow I sound old) with apps like TimeHop, Google Photos, and Facebook, you are constantly shown throwback photos of this day “______” [blank] number of years ago. So literally everyday I’m comparing my children to what they looked like on this day “x” years ago. Don’t get me wrong I love throwback pictures, but at the same time I’m reminded how quickly these kids are growing. And it makes me sad. It makes me so sad that I even ask my kids to stop growing, but even they know that’s impossible. Whenever I ask them to stop growing, my oldest always says… “Then stop feeding us mama!”

To my kids… mama knows you’ll never stop growing. All I have are my photos and memories. So when I think back on this time of our lives, these are the things I want you guys to know/what I want to remember:

During a time when we had to limit seeing people, I’m so glad you had each other. I didn’t have a sibling until I was almost 10-years-old so watching you play and laugh together while I was stressed about the world just added ease to my mind. You’ve probably heard this a million times from me, but you are so lucky to have each other.
Zay – As much as Leah may annoy you now, know that she has looked up to you since the moment she knew who you are. She has been copying your every move since she was a teeny tiny baby, and I know she only has nothing but love for you. Even when she bothers you, you still show her so much love. You really are the most loving big sister, and I hope that never changes. You are our most loving child, but also our most difficult. We know you have a hard time dealing with your emotions, and while you love your siblings so much, you need more attention. Please know we are trying our best to give it to you.
Leah – You are our middle child, and because your dad is a middle child, we are more aware of your feelings. We didn’t put you in school the same number of days as your sister so you could have one day a week without her around. On your solo days, we love watching you play by yourself. You love playing alone. You are constantly cracking us up with the things you have to say. You just turned 3, but it feels like we’re talking to an 6-year-old. In the last 6 months, your vocabulary has grown so much that we’re constantly surprised with the things you have to say.
JJ – From the moment your sisters knew about you, they were already obsessed with you. The moment they first saw you, they never let you out of their site. You’re the first person they look for in the morning, and they are always fighting about who gets to hold you. Right now you’re only 2 months old, and all you ever want to do is be held. And because you’re my last baby, all I do is hold you. Your dad hates it, but I know I’ll never get this again. I’m actually holding you right now as I type this. You also just started sleeping 5-6 hours stretches every night. Because you’re our third child, we aren’t actually as phased as much by the lack of sleep we’re getting, but we still need you to start sleeping longer. Also know, you have completed our family.

By the time you are reading this, who knows old you are. But I hope that whatever age you are, when you think back on this time, you remember the happy times during this crazy year. And if you do remember mom and dad being particularly upset or more stressed than usual, please know it was a weird year. And please know I only say “I love you so much” a million times because I really do. I love you guys so much, and I always will. You will only keep growing, and while it’ll make me sad to think about, you three will always be my babies.